Wherefore: Whenceforth?

And so the old adage goes:

So tell me the way where I should go: to the left yonder where
there's nothing right, or to the right where nothing is left?

Does that sound like our Christian walk sometimes? When we proceed in the direction we know we must go, it just seems like nothing's left for us because the whole world's going so fast. When we proceed in the direction we know we must not go, nothing seems to go right either.

What should we do in such circumstances? If you ask me, I'm not going to be all holier-than-thou and tell you: Of course you should pick the right way!

Why? Because I myself find it hard sometimes to pick the right way. But I'll keep trying because I know that sanctification is ongoing. :) I know that submission isn't easy when our flesh goes against God, I know that doing the right thing isn't the natural thing because my flesh is fallen. 

But I know God appeals to my will, just as much as there's Grace. And so I must exercise my will in an act of volition. I may fall along the way, but it's fine, really, as long as there's Grace - because God allows me to keep growing and going back to Him.

And so I mustn't turn back along the path to the Wicket Gate. :)

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I read Christlike by Bill Hull today, and I've gotten to Chapter 3 - I was praying and asking God: "Teach me how to love my friends in Oxford and especially my coursemates, teach me from this book Lord""""". And the interesting thing was, minutes after reading into Chapter 2, my heart was struck by what I read. It goes something like this:

When people say to themselves, 'Oh, you know, I don't think I'm prepared to do this yet, I'll wait for God to make me grow to that stage before I do it, you know, I'm not there yet.' But you must understand, these things are intentional and they must be so because the flesh goes against everything God has in mind.

And I went on to read:

Walking with Christ comes with a stigma and sacrifice. Yes, a sacrifice! 

And it just hit me: I probably am not willing to make the sacrifice, that's why I feel so frustrated. Was I prepared for a sacrifice for God? Was I thinking that I'd just go along my life's path in Oxford without sacrificing anything?

I need to invest more time and effort in people. And then I went on to read:

It's ironic how Christians spend so much time being the church and in the church, they have no more strength, courage and time to go out in the world. Look at the number of non-Christians you can really bless, share your life with and befriend!

And at once I knew that the Lord had placed me in a favourable position - I've been given a small and easily manageable harvest field, surely two coursemates is not too much for me to handle? I've no intention to convert them into Christians, but I have a good mind to bless them, to share my life with them and to be their friend, for that is what Christ has called me to do.

I'm very sure the Gospel will flow through me as long as I live it.

And so am I living it? Am I just trying to be a better person - is that what God promises me, to get me on some moral high horse? Or should I let God change me into a different person?

Different, and not just better. I need to understand that.

So how should I go about my journey in Oxford? It's my third week here already, and God has blessed me immensely through friends, wisdom, health, sufficiency and courage. Am I not in good stead and have found good favour with the Lord?

Lord I do not know how to go about anything, what to do - I only know why. Will You teach me in the way to go, to go towards the right where nothing is left. For I'd rather have nothing left than have nothing right.

Teach me Father, this I pray, with thanksgiving and patience, Amen.